Chapter Three: Ray of Light

And so the Angel bashing goes on. My friends on the other hand are getting more and more irritated about me complaining to them all the time. One time during the rehearsal of the candidates I stood in as a candidate who is next to Angel. While we were standing on stage, my arms were wrapped to each other and Angel's hand was on his waist. His elbow keeps on hitting, or should I say literally rubbing, my elbow. During that time I was very confused on what emotions is building up inside me. I can't understand if I was giggling or revolting with disgust on what is happening.

A few weeks now have passed ever since I crossed path with this Angel person. I still raise my eye browse when I see him and he on the other hand have no idea whats going on. On the day of the pageant's primer, Peter assigned me to be the stage director of the show. This means I am responsible on the placings of the candidates on stage and they have to take the cue from me on when to walk, talk, look while on stage. Also, I am to organize the human traffic back stage so as not to confuse all the participants on whose segment is next. And so the show started.

The opening and the introduction of candidates went well despite some of the candidates ignored my signals and Angel is one of those. Even though I was a bit frustrated I went through the show without saying a single word on how I feel about some of them ignoring me. I figured, I am not the one who would look stupid if they messed up their walk anyway. The show went on with no major screw ups.

Now as for me, I need to go back stage to inform the next candidate that she is next. As I walk in to the back of the stage and turned at the corner, Angel was on the other end of the hallway seated by the window with all the sunlight shining upon him. It was like an apparition! He was wearing a white shirt and it is shining brightly from the sunlight more than ever. As I walk towards him I felt that the whole world moved in slow motion. I was staring straight towards him and he was staring towards me. And it was not just a typical stare. It was his supermodel stare. The squinting eyes, the low sexy predator-like stare, the pouty lips. Damn! I feel like I was melting in every step I take towards him. When I was a few steps away from him I wanted to say something but the words got lost along the way. When I emerged on the other side of the stage I heard a chorus. A very wonderful chorus. I felt like I was a new person. Its as if I just experienced the greatest miracle ever told. Im in love with him.

On the night of the pageant my task was to assist the stage directors and the hosts. I prepared the cue cards of the hosts and prepared questions as well just in case the need arises.

Paris was one of the hosts that night. He was very nervous to the point that he asked me to fix his tie and suit. Angel was right beside us and this made things worse. I was now as nervous as Paris and I seem to forget how to fix a tie. Feeling very frustrated my temper stated to shoot up. Paris kept on moving and I hit him on his arm and raised my voice at him more than once. By the looks of his face Paris is not happy on whats happening. Angel left and finally I was able to help Paris dress up properly. Paris thanked me afterwards but it doesn't sound sincere. I felt the coldness in his voice. I felt guilty on what I did. I shouldn't have done that.

On the whole duration of the show I was very embarassed on what I did to Paris. And because of it I tried to be as helpful as I can on his spiels and others.

The show ended at about 2am and Angel lost. I felt so dissapointed by it and I feel that there was an insidejob or something.

It took some time before I finally realized what happened and my sudden new feelings for Angel. The next thing I knew its Christmas break already. I was not myself during the whole holiday. I stayed in my room all day with my laptop and I cant stop thinking of my Angel. My beloved Archangel.

Finally I accepted this new feeling but I decided to keep it to myself as long as I can. January came and I was more than excited to go back to school. My class starts at around 2pm but I was in school at 10am. Wishing and hoping to bump into Angel that early.

Since then everytime I see him I break into a smile and completes my day. I started hanging out in front of our school where you usually see him holding a cup of taho or scramble with his friends. He actually reintroduce me to taho. When I see him there I would buy taho and even sometimes treat some of my classmates just to make pasikat to him.

Chapter Two: Angel

Second semester opened and every officers of all the student organizations are part of the team that is organizing the school's beauty pageant. As for me with the rest of the officers of our organization, who are Communication Arts major, were assigned on the production side of the event.

Peter assigned me to help in the auditions of the male and female candidates. So for one whole day I was in one of the small halls of the school trying to correct in my mind the grammar of the auditioners. Like, "yes I'm confidence," and "...I would tell the fope..." (What?! Are you talking about the Pope or a pawn?!)

A week after that, the final candidates have been chosen and we are now shooting footages for the pageant. We spent the whole morning taking photos of the candidates around the different historical places near our school.

"Where is Angel? He's next," said our director. "Having his make up done? Quickly please quickly." This Angel guy caught my attention. Based from what I heard he has been modeling for a while now and in fact participated on a well publicised underwear fasion show early that year. Also, he had a feature article on a newspaper a few weeks ago. When I saw his photo in the article I said, "he looks gay! But infairness he has the body of a model."

He took over a minute or so to have a quick make up and this made our director irritated. I got irritated also and for what ever reason I hated him! So for the whole duration of the shoot I kept on throwing nasty comments about him. Like, "why does he keep on raising his shirt? He doesn't even have abs! He has a flat stomach!" "I swear he's so look gay!"

Later on, our director assigned me to do the poster of the pageant. He gave me specific directions on what he wanted to see. He also asked me to make a logo for the event.

Seeing this as an oppurtunity of a life time, I grabbed it with all my heart. It took me one weekend to make the layout of the logo. To my surprise, I got approval after two revisions! As for the poster, it took me two days, non-stop, to finish the layout. It took me that long because I was not yet familiar with the software I was using and my laptop was so slow in processing the Hi-res images. I made a sample print out of the poster and showed it to our director and to the candidates. Our director liked it but there are still minor revisions he wanted me to do.

Angel saw the poster and commented to a fellow staff of mine that he wanted his name to be complete in the poster. That pissed me off because his complete name is very long and I was having a problem in terms of name spacing on the area where his photo and name was.

I really don't know whats with this Angel person but I just simply and flatly hated him!

Chapter One: A Typical Prelude

When I was a few years younger I met a young man whom I shall call Paris. He was a complete gentleman, a bit thin, sporting a skin head hairstyle and with a low and nice voice. I first saw him when I entered the student organization room of our school for the first time (I was a vice president of our department's organization & he was the president of their organization). He was seated at the far end of the room sharing a laugh with a female classmate of his that time.

I quietly entered the room and sat at the center table while waiting for Peter, my president, to arrive. I know who he is right away because during that time my good friend Charlize liked him and she mentioned him to me more than once.

I sat quietly there browsing through my notes from my last class. I pretended to ignore them but in reality I was watching them like a vulture. Observing this young man whom Charlize fancies. After a few minutes of closed and careful observation I have made my conclusion. I said flatly to myself, "hmmm... He's cute." After that Peter arrived and we started discussing possible activities for our organization.

I do not remember if it was before, during, or after my meeting with Peter that he introduced me to Paris. But what I can remember is that it was a typical prelude to one another with exchanges of "hi's" and "hellos" and period.
After that other officers of different student organizations arrived and Peter introduced me to them.

Being there was like being in a classroom where the whole class is close friends. It was something I was longing to experience. You know, being accepted. The feeling of belonging to a group. For once I forgot how it was to be alone.
You see, a few semesters ago I belong to a circle of friends whom I thought were my "perfect" friends. We do almost everything together. Until one night they accused me of upstaging them and being very nosy. I never thought that a semester old friendship could shatter in one night.

Since then I distant myself to everyone. Even to my other friends. Even to my parents and my older sister.

I did that because I was very startled on what happened between me and the group. I don’t know what my shortcomings were as their friend.
So since then, a year and a half to be exact, I was alone with a very low self esteem.

As the boom of laughter came back to me, I told myself to take things I bit more lightly. I was in a room with new people to meet meaning new people to be friends with. I think that’s how life really works. You win some you lose some.